December of Cambreadth

This parody was sung by Heather Alexander on Roundworm

Parody of “March of Cambreadth”, words and music by Heather Alexander

For more information and other parodies, see
Parody lyrics ©1997-02-23 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

Antlers clash.  Horse whips sting.
Shiny sleigh bells’ piercing ring.
Flanks half numb from the arctic cold.
Muscles strain with weight untold.
Midnight run with flame-red nose.
Climb to where the jet stream flows.
Half a billion girls and boys.
How many of them can we bring toys?

Follow flight plans as you’re told,
Lest their little hearts grow cold.
Air raid from the land of ice.
We’ll make sure they all act nice.
Buzz each child’s neighborhood.
Work ’til every one is good.
Naughty thoughts that hope destroys.
How many of them can we bring toys?

Guard your payload of presents well.
Thieves could steal a lot to sell.
Light upon each chimney top.
At speeds like ours, it’s hard to stop.
Use your hooves and use your head,
Don’t let down the man in red
Lifting off with grace and poise.
How many of them can we bring toys?

Dawn is near, the time is short.
(Human aircraft:  hard to port!)
We eight creatures of the night
Work as one in silent flight.
Let not one damn house pass by.
(Who taught that guy how to fly?)
Each year brings more girls and boys.
How many of them can we bring toys?