Parody of “The Hand of God”, words and music by
Julia Ecklar
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Parody lyrics ©2025-04-01 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Mashup of Cat Faber’s song on Ursula Vernon’s 2023 Hugo acceptance about Regimbartia attenuata.
You sat slurping beetles, all bite-sized and young.
The distance between us, the length of your tongue.
For breakfast sounds good, and I’m breakfast to you,
And I guess I was slow to defend.
They say that, once swallowed, sure death lies ahead.
I say that salvation’s behind us instead.
That escape from digestion is just round the bend.
I know there’s a light at the end.
| Chorus: |
I will crawl to the end of the frog. From here on, absorption is slow. No matter the stench of the slog We’ll both know when it’s time to go! I know that my instinct is right: Permits me to flee or permits me to fight, Outpace peristalsis, be out by tonight Once I crawl to the end of the end of the frog! Toward the light at the end of the frog. |
We’re six-legged Houdinis, gulped down in one piece.
That’s sort of a given, since frogs have no teeth.
If we outrace death, we just might get away
By a route that I don’t recommend.
Just defy stomach acid and solids and gas.
Escape with our lives for our lives shall not pass.
Just a long small intestine with which to contend.
Then the glimmer of light at the end.
(Chorus)
Now behold here the folly of bugs who did not:
Behold their forbearance, like frogs in a pot!
Digestion is death, but I’ll scurry ahead
While time rots those who wait to descend.
If a frog harms the harmless, should we harbor a grudge?
I am bound for the outside, in torrents of sludge!
Like in Shawshank Redemption, I’ll bathe at the end,
Once deposited where I intend.
| Chorus: |
I will crawl to the end of the frog. From here on, absorption is slow. No matter the stench of the slog We’ll both know when it’s time to go! I know that my instinct is right: Permits me to flee or permits me to fight, |
I’ll be out in six minutes if things go just right
As I’m led to the end of the end of the frog.
By the light at the end of the frog.