Parody of “Uplift”, words and music by
Andy Eigel
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Parody lyrics ©2018-08-19 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Hands told the time. Time for lunch. Time to sleep.
Bells tolled the hour. Made us wake with a beep.
Now we’re governed by a new time technology:
Time to move around. Time to stand. Time to breathe!
Feet leave a track on the map in the cloud.
Run, walk and swim. Please your watch. Make it proud.
Lying limply on your nightstand overnight.
Don’t be fooled; it’s gaining power in plain sight.
Steps turn to miles. Burn the fat. Earn the meal.
Strict overlord in a case of stainless steel.
Human harnessed does its will in everything.
Feet keep moving; meet the goal, close the ring.
Crawl back into bed!
Heart rate, texts and news
Are all less vital features
Than the one that lets us snooze.
Push to light the screen. Tiny circles shrink and grow.
Swipe, find the green. Tap the figure. Off you go.
Race from the ballroom just to get in one more walk.
All your progress will go poof at 12 o’clockÂ
!
Sleep. Clear the rings. Check the time: 6am.
Wake to its demand. Set the goal. Begin again.