Parody of “Spoke Too Soon”, words and music by
Brooke Lunderville
For
more information
and other parodies, see
www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©2011-08-21 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Note that this uses a different verse-chorus pattern than the original: only one verse between choruses.
The pills that I take come with complex directions.
The labels and inserts are five pages each.
They instruct me on how and what time I should take them,
And from kids of all ages to keep out of reach.
| Chorus: |
So many instructions on these medications, They fill up three bulletin boards on my wall. “White, take at mealtime. Blue, take at bedtime. Gold, do not swallow, don’t swallow at all.” The tablets and liquids are terrible tasting, Bought for an equally terrible price. “Do not drive or operate heavy equipment. Do not miss a dose and do not take one twice.” |
They all carry warnings of rare complications,
Government-ordered in English and French.
The pills for arthritis and wrist inflammation
Have a childproof cap that requires a wrench.
| Chorus: |
“The gel capsules may induce heart palpitations In persons allergic to shellfish or cow. Red, take two daily. Puce, take as needed. Purple, take patient to ER right now.” The tablets and liquids are terrible tasting, Bought for an equally terrible price. “If symptoms persist for five days, discontinue. Do not miss a dose and do not take one twice.” |
“Some plants you can eat such as spinach and grapefruit
May interact badly with pills on this list.
The flat round magenta pills cause blurry vision.
Take five fuchsia tablets if symptoms persist.”
“Be sure to discard if it’s past expiration.
Be sure to take each at the right time of day:
Pink, in the evening. Peach, in the morning.
Rose, induce vomiting without delay.”
The tablets and liquids are terrible tasting,
Bought for an equally terrible price.
“Take hourly, not within eight hours of eating.
Do not miss a dose and do not take one twice.”
“The robin’s egg blue pills are vasoconstrictors.
Avoid sexual contact six months after use.
On waking, take yellowish green tablets early.
May cause bloody stools when combined with chartreuse.”
“Read all of the warnings and recommendations.
Health organizations and experts concur:
Tan, take with water. Brown, chew it slowly.
Beige, flush with water should contact occur.”
The tablets and liquids are terrible tasting,
Bought for an equally terrible price.
“Green, call for refills. Teal, call with questions.
Turquoise, call Poison Control for advice.”
But the aquamarine pills will make you feel nice.