Parody of “Drink Up the River”, words and music by
Kathy Mar
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Reprinted from
Songworm 2
Parody lyrics ©1988-10-01 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
I was sitting by a river when the thought occurred to me
That there are hardly any rivers left not clogged with our debris.
There are many things that you can do to make the problem worse,
And I have written some suggestions, set conveniently in verse.
You’ve got trash and you’ve got garbage, and the odor’s getting rife.
It’s just the ultimate result of our consumptive way of life.
So when the dump yards of your land are full of inconvenient gunk,
You’ve got to stink up the river with all your junk.
| Chorus: |
You’ve got to stink up the river (3X)With all your junk. You’ve got to stink up the river (3X)With all your junk. |
For all through our race’s history, we’ve fouled the streams we drink.
You know it isn’t any mystery which species caused the stink.
And it’s not a new invention; it goes back to Stone Age Man.
It was at least a million years ago waste management began.
When one day a certain caveman found a way to clean his cave
Without attracting hungry carnivores with bones that they would crave.
He just chucked ’em in the river, and they landed with a plunk.
He had to stink up the river with all his junk.
(Chorus)
For our national security, to reach our nation’s dreams,
A lot of poisons and impurities are dumped into our streams.
They are receptacles to carry off whatever we might wish
To where it will not bother anyone, except for all the fish.
When our industry is booming, it produces quite a lot,
And we’re sorry we dumped garbage in your nice vacation spot.
But what else were we to do when it was rotten and it stunk?
We had to stink up the river with all our junk.
(Chorus)
There is a river full of Styrofoam that you threw out last week.
There is a tributary running from your toilet to the creek.
There are sudsy phosphate fountains, and they leave a foamy paste.
And there’s an ocean full of sewage and a stream of toxic waste.
There is litter all around you: on the paths you have to tread,
On the counters of your kitchen and the floor around your bed.
So make use of all that water that’s not busy being drunk:
You’ve got to stink up the river with all your junk.
(Chorus)