Parody of “Flowering Green”, words and music by
Kat Eggleston
For
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and other parodies, see
www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©1999-12-21 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Scansion note: Even though it’s Soylent (presumably for its two ostensible ingredients), you can get away with pronouncing it Soyalent.
Government seafood is nasty to smell.
(Free of egg, non-dairy, and fairly low cal.)
Government produce is mushy and yellow.
(Free of egg, non-dairy, and fairly low cal.)
But a tasty new food just appeared on the scene:
A nutritious new product called Soylent Green.
Mommy went shopping one morning so fine.
(Free of egg, non-dairy, and fairly low cal.)
She tried a free sample, after waiting in line.
(Free of egg, non-dairy, and fairly low cal.)
Its taste was like heaven, its texture like cream.
Its colorful label said "Soylent Green."
The crowd shouldered forward, all wanting a taste.
(Free of egg, non-dairy, and fairly low cal.)
The shelves quickly emptied as shoppers bought cases.
(Free of egg, non-dairy, and fairly low cal.)
Mom fought her way through, spraying Glade in a stream.
And she lost her head and bought Soylent Green.
"Please, Mommy, just cook up a hot dog for me.
(Free of egg, non-dairy, and fairly low cal.)
For I am suspicious of Soylent Green."
(Free of egg, non-dairy, and fairly low cal.)
"Your grandpa went shopping for hot dogs, alone.
But that was last Tuesday; he never came home."
And now our whole family is thoroughly hooked.
The flavor reminds us of how Grandma cooked.
Our young brother Mikey can no longer whine.
His fingers are seen in the jar all the time.
No more ground chuck patties that Mom used to burn.
(Free of egg, non-dairy, and fairly low cal.)
I wonder if Grandpa will ever return.
(Free of egg, non-dairy, and fairly low cal.)
But we still think of him as we serve this cuisine.
When we have him for lunch, we'll have Soylent Green.