Parody of “Crimson and Crystal”, words and music by
Cynthia McQuillin
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and other parodies, see
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Reprinted from
Songworm 3
Parody lyrics ©1988-03-09 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Shiny and sharp are the tools of her trade,
And the touch of her hands can make strong men afraid.
But in her tiny chamber, the blood never shows,
For she sucks it away just as fast as it flows.
Muted and soft are the hues of her wall,
But the pictures upon it could make your skin crawl.
And but one single glimmer of hope can remain:
My dear lady dentist will soon end my pain.
For with fingers and forceps her hands deftly probe.
Yet she’s ever aloof, in her ashen white robe.
As she goes through the list of her patients each day,
She calls out their names, and they’re bound to obey.
Shiny and sharp are the tools on her tray,
And we all know full well she will call us one day
For our annual appointment with her shiny drill,
When she’ll poke us and prod us with her sharpened skill.