Parody of “HeavenCon”, words and music by
Kathy Mar
For
more information
and other parodies, see
www.songworm.com
Reprinted from
Songworm 1
Parody lyrics ©1987-09-15 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Inspired by GehennaCon by Beanfish, and by the sight of the con suite on the last night of CactusCon
There’s a | C con | suite down below |
Where bad ho | F tel | employees go. |
The | G car | pets are all stained and ripped. |
The | C fen | there don’t believe in tipping |
F When | you pass the plate. |
And you’re | C guar | anteed to rue your fate. |
So | G give | up vice and sin, |
Or | F be | prepared to | G clean | Red Devil | C Inn | . |
You’re | F bound | there by a complicated | C con | tract |
That | F seems | to have no expiration | C date | . |
And | F half | your pay is taken by the | Am uni | on. |
The ot | D her | half, of course, goes to the | G state | . |
They fill the tubs with soda pop and Jello,
And empty every ice machine in sight.
The rugs crunch underfoot with powdered Cheetos
From parties that last well into the night.
There’s a con suite down below
Where bad hotel employees go.
You’re in at dawn but cannot leave
Until eleven in the evening:
All the fen sleep late.
And you’re guaranteed to rue your fate.
So give up vice and sin,
Or be prepared to clean Red Devil Inn.
There’s mirrors on the ceiling in each bedroom
Which you are forced to wipe down every day,
Right after you have straightened out the bedclothes
The fen have gotten rumpled in their play.
Your take-home pay is fifteen cents an hour.
Your boss forgets to put your raises through.
And when you take the water to the filk room,
You find that they are singing about you.
There’s a con suite down below
Where bad hotel employees go.
And when you’ve got it clean you’re bound
To envy Sisyphus his mountain
Where he rolls his weight,
And you’re guaranteed to rue your fate.
So give up vice and sin,
Or be prepared to clean Red Devil Inn.