Parody of “The Queen of Air and Darkness”, words by
Poul Anderson
, music by
Penelope Tredray
For
more information
and other parodies, see
www.songworm.com
This parody was sung by
Cathy Cook Mac Donald
on
Slightly OVFF Track
Parody lyrics ©1995-07-15 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
It was the Ranger Arvid who made the great faux pas
Against the tiny elflings one heard but seldom saw.
Returning to his village one moonlit summer night,
He passed among the foliage that hides so much from sight.
And knowing his trip homeward was only just begun,
He paused beside some bushes, and when he was undone,
The dunce peed into the firethorn.
And underneath the firethorn, but unbeknownst to him,
The elfling folk were dancing, beneath that very limb.
The elfling folk were dancing, but hastened to unfold
Diminutive umbrellas, from which rolled drops of gold.
The dunce peed into the firethorn.
The queen of grass and mushrooms, in garments fine and strange,
Stood cool, aloof, and distant, but not quite out of range.
The queen of grass and mushrooms, so lovely to behold,
With hair like burnished copper, whose highlights gleamed like gold.
The dunce peed into the firethorn.
To Arvid came she striding, betraying no surprise:
The queen of grass and mushrooms, with murder in her eyes.
With pride, disgust, and outrage. And angrily she spoke.
Who is this clumsy human? Is this some kind of joke?
The dunce peed into the firethorn.
He dared to give her answer: I’m awfully sorry, ma’am.
It’s just my human kidneys that make me what I am.
And likewise all me comrades, when they’ve been at the sauce,
Those steady-handed fellows I’m careful not to cross.
The queen of grass and mushrooms entranced him with her stare.
Her eyes had turned to spirals, and music filled the air.
You must not know our secrets, when we have set you free.
You will remember nothing, except my mammaries.
The ranger Arvid chuckled, as everything grew dark,
You may make me forget you, but still I’ve left my mark.
And that will run behind you, a stain upon the ground.
And that will lie beside you, as every dance goes round.
He woke, recalling nothing, beneath the morning sun.
But seeing where he was, and what he had left undone,
The dunce peed into the firethorn.