_{Non-Smoking Section}

Reprinted from Songworm 3
This parody was sung by Leslie Fish on Tapeworm 2

Parody of “Mount Tam”, words and music by Leslie Fish

For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©1989-02-23 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

Am Here

E I

Am sit

G at

the

C front

of

G the

Am plane

.

F Might

as well be a

C free

way

G lane

Or the

F depths

of a

E chim

ney

Am stack

.

The

Dm flight

is

F smooth

, but the

Am air

is

C gray

With the

G breath

of the

Em smok

ers that

Am drifts

my

E way

From the

Am seats

just a

D few

E rows

Am back

.

Chorus:

G So  Am if  E there  Am be  a C n y  G on  Am board Who  Dm must  light  F up  in the  Am short  du C rat ion of  G flight , Then  E for  the  Am short  du C ra tion of  G flight , Please  Em step  out Am side .

Pressure’s low, so the cabin’s sealed.
The filters get more than they can field;
And here is a noxious cloud.
Its tendrils run through the intake duct
To the maze of vents where the air is sucked
And supplied to the front-row crowd.

(Refrain)

Studies show that recycled smoke
Makes smoking sections a useless joke:
The whole cabin space will fill.
The blood and urine of those who refrain
Show nicotine from the back of the plane
Invading their bodies, still.

(Refrain)

We who need to travel by air
Find ourselves in the dragon’s lair
Of a vice that we did not choose.
They’ll wreck their bodies, and that’s just fine,
But the grave they’re digging should not be mine,
Nor the kids’, nor the cabin crew’s.

(Refrain)