Parody of “View master”, words and music by
Rand Bellavia
and
Adam English
For
more information
and other parodies, see
www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©1997-10-02 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
I took out my time machine,
To check up on some much younger Calvin.
Set it for six years old or so.
But time forces punched out a hole
Where I’m always used to seeing the vortex control,
And all the lights and dials refused to glow.
All you bug-eyed monsters, what am I to do?
You’ve all turned into dusty rocks named Yogi Bear and Scooby Doo!
Poor old Stupendous Man,
All your powers were no match against Mom-Lady’s plan,
And now you’re trapped forever in her thrall.
I can’t forget the time you went
To drop that ticking atom bomb into an oceanic vent.
I guess Dad’s watch wasn’t waterproof after all.
My sturdy treetop fortress has seen better days.
And Mom threw all my Captain Napalm comics away.
I’m gonna cry if I can’t find my new laser blaster.
Wanna find out how short life can be?
Ride my wagon downhill to disaster!
I recall the vices of my childhood.
When I tuned out old Miss Wormwood’s desk
For some lichen-covered cliff,
I was fed up to here by the end of the school day.
Could this be the end of Spaceman Spiff?
Earwigs and eyeballs in Mom’s beef stew!
The Easter Bunny and Krazy Glue!
The gruesome death of Huey
In the Gooey Kablooie.
Just what kind of archane hex
Left a tiny plastic husk of a Tyrannosaurus Rex?
A teenaged boy could tear it limb from limb.
Then in my weekend cleanup jobs,
To my everlasting shock I found a stuffed and mounted Hobbes.
What evil taxidermist coulda got his hands on him?
There’s no more nameless monsters drooling underneath my bed.
Just certain kinds of magazines which now cause me to drool instead.
When was the last time I
Spoiled Susie Derkin’s lunch by bringing bug patĀ on rye,
When she had sliced-up dachshund on a slab of white?
Was it ten years ago
That I would gross out all the neighbors with my sculptures in the snow?
Or lose against a tiger in a snowball fight?
I feel my transmogrifier’s pulsing wave:
Enough to change me to a beast that has to shave.
I’m gonna cry if I can’t find my new laser blaster.
Wanna find out how short life can be?
Ride my sled downhill into disaster!
I recall the vices of my childhood.
When I tuned out old Miss Wormwood’s desk
For some lichen-covered cliff,
I was fed up to here by the end of the school year.
Could this be the end of Spaceman Spiff?