Parody of “Mrs. Robinson”, words and music by
Paul Simon
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Parody lyrics ©2002-06-01 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
It's up to you, Mr. Underhill.
Power can corrupt more than you know.
Woe, woe, woe.
It seems to us, Mr. Underhill,
Only some real wimp could bear the ring.
Ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding.
Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes:
Stick it on a chain inside your clothing.
It's a little secret, just a Hobbit's own affair.
Most of all, make sure your uncle stays away!
Because of you, Mr. Underhill,
Darkness could strike home unless you flee.
Hee, hee, hee.
I'll give you this, Mr. Underhill.
Wanderlust was never your forte.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey.
Strolling down the road along with three amusing friends.
Could it be you're off to see the wizard?
The more you stay invisible to those you ought to trust,
The more transparent you become to us.
And as for you, Mr. Underhill,
Sauron loves you more than you will know.
Woe, woe, woe.
Put on the ring, Mr. Underhill!
Mordor has a place for those who slay.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey.
We know you'd like to get back that much sooner to the Shire.
We know you'd like the ring, so help yourself!
Look around you; all you see are huge and well-armed guys.
Who could blame you if you wish you were at home?
Don't anger us, Mr. Underhill.
Meddling will quickly cause you woe.
Woe, woe, woe.
Best watch your back, Mr. Underhill.
Wizards have affairs more than you know.
Woe, woe, woe. Woe, woe, woe.
Help me, Mr. Wizard just won't cut it anymore.
Neither will your underwear that elves made.
Are you feeling dwarfed by all the trouble you are in?
Watch out for the hearts and minds of men.
Where have you gone, Mr. Bombadil?
Your would-be friends have followed some wrong fork.
What a dork.
What's that you say, Mr. Underhill?
Saruman betrayed Gandalf the Grey.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey.
Cannot trust the fellowship; they all want just one thing.
With fellowships like these, who needs the ring wraiths?
Ditch the guys with weapons while you bravely forge ahead.
Any way you look at this, you're dead.
| Chorus: |
Let's face the truth, Mr. Underhill: Victory, at best, is months away. Hey, hey, hey. Open your eyes, Mr. Underhill. Your comrades are all staring at defeat. Feet, feet, feet. Feet, feet, feet. |