Parody of “Eumenides”, words by
Mercedes Lackey
, music by
Leslie Fish
For
more information
and other parodies, see
www.songworm.com
Reprinted from
Songworm 2
This parody was sung by
Leslie Fish
on
Tapeworm 2
Parody lyrics ©1988-07-08 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
There should be a constant chorus of buzzing in the background
What’s packed in that tree is precious to me,
As precious as gold to a thief:
Your honey, so pure. You think it’s secure.
Prepare to revise that belief.
I may not be strong. I’ve not lived too long.
You think I’m a silly old bear.
But I live on my brains, and I’ve taken great pains
To track your scouts back to your lair.
Like the bear that I am, I don’t give a damn
Who rightfully owns all the food.
I take what I want, and I’ll tell you up front:
My hunger can make me quite rude.
Alone in the toy box, I longed for a snack
To hold me ’til Christopher Robin came back.
My strength and the weight of my stuffing is sapped
By my long hibernation when he takes a nap!
The boy heard my pleas and dreamed up the bees,
The makers of honey so fine.
But I think it’s unfair that I’m only a bear,
Unable to reach what is mine.
I started to climb, but found out in time
The bees would not let me inside.
The treacherous things possess tiny stings
To puncture my soft furry hide.
A coward I’m not. I’ve cooked up a plot,
A plan that’s both clever and brave.
The hunger inside will not be denied
As I take the honey I crave.
I’ve borrowed balloons and now upward I soar,
And you will not hoard it as you have before.
With stinger and wings I’ve disguised my bear form,
And the wind is now blowing me straight at your swarm!
I steal through the skies, my clever disguise
Concealing my aerial prowl.
Your hive is in sight of my well-plotted flight,
And my stomach is starting to growl.
Instrumental section. Buzzing gets angrier.
What lives in that tree feels bitter toward me,
As bitter as honey is sweet.
I flee through the trees, pursued by the bees.
My plan has gone down in defeat.