Parody of “Math”, words and music by
Rand Bellavia
and
Adam English
For
more information
and other parodies, see
www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©2026-04-06 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
(Some lines may scan to the lines from different verses. Line 2, for example, scans to the “twice the speed” in the original’s train verse.)
An Ent sings at a rate of one foot per minute which annoys her band.
The band would like to play at twice the speed and fifty times as loud.
If the Ent wife’s song is drown out by the band
Will she ever reach the other Ent?
If so, how long will it take the Ent?
Will she make it if the singer’s a real strong lead?
Billy goes to war with fifteen soldiers in the same command.
A fifth die on the march and then another third die on the hillside.
Billy saves half of the rest by riding back to bring extra men.
How many did he save
And if they all will die tomorrow
What advice should he heed?
| Chorus: |
Mash Mash Mash |
The last train gets to Clarksville at 4:30 and runs once an hour.
Another train left for Georgia right at midnight on that very day.
If the trains both come from songs, then
At what time and in what key will the songs collide?
Extra credit: What are the names of the songs
Given the speed at which each train goes?
A queen was once beheaded and her spirit now walks the tower.
The queen was five foot three but now her head’s tucked underneath her arm.
Find the height of the ghost after half a century
passed at most since the regicide?
How old does that make the ghost?
If she gets a cold, can she blow her nose?
Woad plus Threes equals Meat minus Wings
Mash
Woad plus Threes equals Meat minus Wings
Mash
Woad plus Threes equals Meat minus Wings
Mash
Threes plus Vor equals Math
Just how much woad must a man put on
Before the dawn on Lammas Night
Given that he wants to fight a hundred men or more
And the truth is, he isn’t very bright?
Please round your answer to the nearest ounce
And recheck your work to make sure it’s right.
The answer my friend is dust in the wind
Which Time won’t drive us all down to again.
Answers: 1. The Endtwife (2020). 2. Billy, Don’t Be a Hero (1974). 3. Last Train to Clarksville (1966) + Midnight Train to Georgia (1973). 4. With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm (1934). 5. Woad (Flanders&Swann). + Before the Dawn (Whitaker) + Lammas Night (Lackey) + Africa (Toto) Don’t Ask (Hayes) + Dust in the Wind (Kansas) + Hope Eyrie (Fish).