Parody of “Last Train to Clarksville”, words and music by
Tommy Boyce
and
Bobby Hart
For
more information
and other parodies, see
www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©2024-07-28 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Here on Earth Prime, there was a rock band on TV called the Monkees, and the songwriting duo of Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart wrote their debut song, :”Last Train to Clarksville”. But no doubt, one one of the infinite parallel Earths, a group very similar the the filk-rock band Ookla the Mok had a TV show and someone wrote this debut song.
It’s the last train to Smallville;
It won’t reach its destination.
It will crash at 7:30
Cause I’ve made the calculation
So I know.
Oh no no no
Oh no no no
Cause the bullet train from Midvale is now fifty miles away
On the single set of tracks that runs through Smallville on the way.
Look at it go.
Oh no no no
Oh no no no
| Chorus: |
And there’s no one with the strength to stop a train. |
It’s the last train to Smallville.
There will be a conflagration.
That’s just algebra with speed and distance
And kinetic conservation, so
Oh no no no
Oh no no no
Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a
Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a
Chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a
choo
.
(X2)
It’s the last train to Smallville.
Now just lie there and relax.
You can photograph me tying five reporters to the tracks
Down there below.
Oh no no no
Oh no no no
| Chorus: |
And there’s no one with the strength to stop a train. |
They can’t hear you from this distance
They can’t see you through that hill, and
They would have leap that canyon which is wider than a building
Even so.
Oh no no no
Oh no no no
| Chorus: |
And there’s no one with the strength to stop a train. |
It’s the last train to Smallville.
It’s the last train to Smallville!
It’s the last train to Smallville!
It’s the last train to Smallville!