Parody of “The Boxer”, words and music by
Paul Simon
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Parody lyrics ©2012-05-28 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
I am just a poor boy, though my story’s often told.
I have squandered our old milk cow
For a pocketful of what proved to be jellybeans:
Food dyes and paste!
Still, a man sees what he wants to see
And disregards the taste.
(Mm-mm-mm.)
When I left my home and my family, I was no more than a boy.
I was ignorant of legumes:
That they grow up into highways that run vertically.
Climbing high,
Seeking out the farthest reaches, where the raptor species fly,
Heading for a castle only they could spy.
| Chorus: |
Fie, fie, fie! Fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie. Fie, fie, fie! Fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie. Fie, fie, fie, fie, fie! |
Seeking only grocery money, I go looking for some coins,
But I get some treasure,
Plus a come-on from a harp who likes to play herself.
I must confess,
I was so worn out from climbing that I could not have cared less.
(Fee, foe-fum.)
Then I’m laying in our winter stores and craving scrambled eggs,
Maybe poached
From that stratospheric storehouse that’s been feeding me,
Nose-bleeding me.
Going back.
In the castle lives an ogre, and a giant by his height.
And his nose is like a bloodhound’s
For English men he might make into muffins,
And he cries out, in his anger and his pride,
“I will grind your bones for breadsticks,
With some French toast on the side.”
(Mm-mm-mm.)
(Chorus)