Parody of “Hotel California”, words and music by
Don Felder
,
Glenn Frey
and
Donald Henley
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Parody lyrics ©2002-05-26 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Don Felder, Glenn Frey, and Donald Henley
Over noise from the highway,
Right outside my room,
Loud snores from my roommate,
Punctuating the gloom.
After three of four hours,
I got the sheep counted right.
My lids grew heavy and despite the din,
I fell asleep for the night.
Next thing I remember,
I heard the klaxon bell.
And I was thinking to myself
This could be Baycon or this could be Hell.
Someone lit up a candle.
Some alarm had been pulled.
There were voices blaring in my ear,
As we all were told:
| Chorus: |
“Sorry to disturb your rest at Baycon. There’s no chance of harm. Just a false alarm. Our deepest regrets to our hotel guests at Baycon.” If they weren’t so deep, I’d get back to sleep! |
Soon every night clerk insisted
On making verbal amends.
“Here’s one with a really pretty voice.
Tell them again.”
How they begged our forgiveness!
But it’s not over yet.
How can I forgive them?
They won’t let me forget!
So I call up the desk clerk.
“Please stop it,” I whine.
He said, “We have to stay on duty here ’til 7:59.”
And still those voices are calling from far away.
They wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say:
| Chorus: |
“Sorry to disturb your rest at Baycon. There’s no chance of harm. Just a false alarm. It’s almost the time to get dressed and smell the bacon. Oh and by the way: Try our brunch buffett!” |
Speakers on the ceiling
Crackled once or twice
And then said: “We just got training, you see,
On our own device.
And on the master panel,
Which lights up when we cough,
We stabbed the buttons and we flipped the switch
But we just can’t turn it off!”
Next thing I remember,
I was waking up at noon.
The maid was sawing through the little chain
To get in to clean my room.
She loudly apologized,
And I muttered, “Thanks a heap.
You can check in anytime you like,
But you can never sleep!”