Parody of “The Mary Ellen Carter”, words and music by
Stan Rogers
For
more information
and other parodies, see
www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©1992-09-04 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Inspired at the first Consonance, after hearing Barry and Sally Childs-Helton perform The Exxon~V. (by Mike Harden of the Columbus Dispatch). Finished two and a half years later at MagiCon, the 50th WorldCon.
She ran aground one winter and unleashed a ton of goo.
The skipper, he’d been drinking, and the mate, he had no clue.
Thank God it’s only sixty proof, and the service here is slow,
But he managed to get plastered even so.
So the mate was in command of her the night she ran aground.
We knew we were in trouble when we heard that grinding sound.
And the gurgle of a hundred zillion gallons made it plain
That soon gas and oil prices would rise again.
| Chorus: |
Rise again! Rise again! So we won’t show a loss when the year’s at an end. All those who love the cash that the motorist will spend Will see those gas and oil profits rise again. |
Well, the public got pissed off, which is mighty shabby thanks,
When we work like Hell to rush our precious product to their tanks.
The state complained of all the birds and beasties we would kill,
And they hinted that they’d stick us with the bill.
So we bleached the sails, rinsed the whales, sponged off a seal or two.
Cleaned up a baby polar bear with gallons of shampoo.
Tonight we’ll show it on the air, so the public won’t complain...
’Til those gas and oil prices rise again.
(Chorus)
For we’d never sneak away, you see, not ’til the coast was clear.
The fish were in a sorry state, or so it would appear.
But the tanker and the public mind share one trait going strong:
That neither holds its contents very long.
And you to whom diversity means maximized return,
With fuzzy mammals sniveling at you everywhere you turn,
Won’t grumble if, from time to time, a black and greasy stain
Forces gas and oil prices to rise again.
| Chorus: |
Rise again! Rise again! Though the land it be poisoned, and life about to end! No matter what the cost, be it the whales, the seals, the men! Long as gas and oil profits rise again! |