^Ec^le^{ctic Ga}l^ac_ti_{c C}u^isines

Reprinted from Songworm 2

Parody of “Costumer's Lament”, words and music by Brenda Sutton

For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©1990-03-12 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

People who don’t eat the full range of foods that our culture considers standard whether by choice (e.g., vegetarian and kosher diets) or by medical necessity (allergies, etc.) have a special perspective when it comes to restaurants. It’s interesting, and rather satisfying, to imagine a time when everyone might get to share that experience...

You’re a

G hy

pership saleswoman

C clo

sing a

G deal

,

And you must take the customer

D out

for a meal;

But

G your

race eats pinecones and

C his

wild

Am boar

?

You’re

G just

who we opened this

D res

taurant

G for

!

Chorus 1 =

Chorus:

We’re the  G chop per of greens, the  C whip per of creams. G We  serve eclectic Ga D lac tic cuisines. For  G ev ery known species and  C all  ethnic  Am groups , G We  sell their favorite  D sa lads and  G soups .

The

G guys

at the booth want more

C cof

fee and

G sludge

.

How much is the barbecued

D egg

dipped in fudge?

The

G la

dy has ordered a

C grass

hopper

Am pie

,

And

G wrap

up the rest of her

D lo

cust-on-

G rye

.

Chorus 2 =

Chorus 1

+

And

D bur

gers and

G bugs

.

Add an

G oct

opus omelet for T

C a

ble Fif

G teen

.

His buddy wants anything

D cold

, wet, and green.

The

G ter

miteman sitting at

C Small

Table

Am Four

Has

G fin

ished his toothpicks and

D or

dered some

G more

.

Chorus 3 =

Chorus 2

+ And

D gob

lets of

G goop

.

+ And

D six

kinds of

G slugs

.

With

G life

support cages our

C pan

try is

G filled

,

For some races like their food

D re

cently killed.

The

G snake

men like rat babies,

C fat

tened from

Am birth

.

There’s

G liz

ards from Deneb, and

D lob

sters from

G Earth

.

 

Chorus 4 =

Chorus 3

+

And

C slime

for the toadman from

G Ve

ga 13.

The

G Earth

man has ordered a

C bur

ger and

G fries

.

You’ll find the potato mix

D next

to the flies.

Re

G pro

gram the cooktime for

C Cow

and

Well

Am Done

,

And

G wipe

off the bug juice from

D Grill

Number One.

Chorus 5 = Chorus 3

+ And

C slime

for the toadman from

D Ve

ga 13.

+ And

C eye

balls and insects and

G plank

ton and beans.

The

G cat

men want six dozen

C Mouse

Nuggets,

G please

.

The rodents from Riley would

D like

some more cheese.

And

G if

we get crowded, try

C not

to be

Am rude

,

And

G don’t

get the patrons con

D fused

with the food.

Chorus 6 =

Chorus:

We’re the  G chop per of greens, the  C whip per of creams. G We  serve eclectic Ga D lac tic cuisines. For  G ev ery known species and  C all  ethnic  Am groups , G We  sell their favorite  D sa lads and  G soups . And  D bur gers and  G bugs . And  D gob lets of  G goop . And  D six  kinds of  G slugs . And  C slime  for the Earthman at T G a ble 13. And  C eye balls and insects and  G(D) plank ton and beans. And  C choc olate and chalk dust and  G din osaur claw, Sau C tŽed , baked, or boiled, or  D just  eaten raw...! With  G bus tling business be C tween  five and eight, I’m  G al most amazed we can  D still  keep it  G straight .