Parody of “Every Inch of This Thread”, words and music by
Ben Newman
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Parody lyrics ©2025-03-27 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
There’s long been a theory that the world’s a stage,
With world events determined by words on a page
Where some Playwright’s hand
Spelled out a detailed plan
From now back to the Iron Age.
And yet who would write the nonsense recent years have brought?
Bizarre events implausible in any plot.
If a mistyped word spelled out what’s occurred
That really would explain a lot!
| Chorus: |
Every page of our lives was typed by my Lady’s fingers. From typebar to platen, from ribbon to reams. And whatever occurs The whole screenplay is Hers. But my Lady’s fat fingers Keep mistyping scenes. |
Sometimes I close my eyes and watch Her hunt and peck.
She never seems to proofread or to doublecheck.
And Her clumsiness creates an awful mess
This crazy timeline may reflect.
For as the plot unfolds within Her brilliant script,
I know that every now and then Her fingers slip.
Does She white it out? I’ve come to have some doubt
After living in Her authorship!
(Chorus)
And I hope and I pray,
If the world is a play
At least it gets decent direction.
And to those who have prayed
She at last will upgrade.
No!! That means we’d get autocorrection!
For swapping in the closest match is tempting fate,
And AI’s even worse; it can hallucinate.
There would surely be some great calamity,
Much worse than what we’ve seen to date.
There always is a way that things can turn out well
But if that end needs words that She finds hard to spell
Don’t be surprised to find She compromised
And substituted what befell!
(Chorus)