Parody of “My Story Is Not Done”, words and music by
Seanan McGuire
For
more information
and other parodies, see
www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©2012-08-21 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
in which an up-and-coming young writer discovers that her dream career is not all roses and dead things.
I get paid to write a fairy tale:
Tinkerbell’s detective daughter,
Fourteen years of unread mail,
Like a fish out of the water.
You don’t mess with the Sidhe folk
When the Sidhe folk have a gun.
Some years have passed since she woke
Yet my story is not done.
I find a lot for her to do:
Lots of clients with no vitals.
Long as Faerie has a clue.
Long as Shakespeare has more titles.
It’ll put food on the table
If it sells out the first run,
And I could be watching cable,
But my story is not done.
| Chorus: |
It's not done until it's sold. It's not sold until it's typeset In italics and in bold, For the royalties I might get. While my friends are getting wasted At a party having fun, ’Til this scene is cut and pasted in, My story is not done. |
Got a dead girl from the media,
Movie buffs and action addicts,
Armed with Wikipedia—
That and semi-automatics.
She had just one job to juggle, which
Made her the only one.
So I killed her in the struggle. (B____.)*
My story is not done.
* If performer can deduce what this word is from the rhyme, the audience probably can, no matter how softly it's muttered or even mouthed, I suspect.
The feds have no solution yet
To stop the endless zombie rising.
Anyone who boards a jet
Shouldn’t find this too surprising.
I’ll show she used to shack up
With her parents’ foster son.
And I always make a backup
Since my story is not done.
(Chorus)
Between them and the ghost girls, and the wicked girls
With strong opinions,
On top of all the blonde girls, and the mad girls,
And the female minions,
Tyrannosaurus biting what’s too starry-eyed to run,
I’m always busy writing, but my story is not done.
I get paid for writing several ways.
All of them involve blood-lettin’:
Months’ worth of October Dayes,
Feed, and Discount Armageddon.
While my heros are defeating foes
That normal people shun,
My own fate is proofreading prose:
My story is not done.
(Chorus)