Parody of “Water”, words and music by
Cathy McManamon
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Parody lyrics ©2026-04-01 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
In the dark
and dangerous sea
The creatures that walk on this planet
cease to be.
Inhalation
is often enough
To kill any life on the land
with this
toxic stuff.
| Chorus: |
There’s one common poison yet to be banned: Dihydrogen monoxide One common poison yet to be banned: Dihydrogen monoxide |
Scansion of chorus: “Di-“ is an added grace note. Sing “hydrogen” where “it is in” was in the original and “monoxide” where “the water” is. Or “hydrogen hydroxide” would scan perfectly and mean the same thing, but audiences who figure it out by the first chorus deserve to have the expected word used in the famous “in the Ban DHMO” leaflet/Internet prank, and may want the reward of being able to sing along the first time they here it. Sure, “dihydrogen monoxide” could be mentioned in the third verse after “they call it”. But a footnote after the second chorus just doesn’t seem like it would be satisfying. Still, if you sing this, feel free to do a taste test between dihydrogen monoxide and hydrogen hydroxide and see if listeners choke on one and the other makes them fall out of their seats.
This uncolored menace
is tasteless and liquidy.
Nearly a half million
die annually
That is just the people.
Consider the others.
Addiction withdrawal
kills many a whale.
(Chorus)
Down through the ages,
chemists gave names to this powerful solvent.
They called it hydronium
hydroxide
Oxidane, hydrogenol, and more.
Hydrohydroxic,
hydric, or hydroxic acid it’s called.
Far in the Arctic,
some of it’s solid,
Like grease on the ground,
it contributes to falls.
(Chorus)
Beware this particular poison
It’s washed into creeks
and rivers and oceans.
It’s often detected
in fish and in livestock,
And rain that soaks into the land.
And if you’re exposed,
you should quickly change all of your clothing.
Keep charging ports closed to protect electronics
It can short out circuitry
(Chorus)