Parody of “The Female of the Species”, words by
Rudyard Kipling
, music by
Leslie Fish
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Parody lyrics ©2025-12-30 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Written mostly in April 2025, shortly after the March 24 article in the Atlantic about the Signal chat about U.S. military strikes in Yemen (“The Trump Administration Accidentally Texted Me Its War Plans” by Jeffrey Goldberg, exposing what came to be known as “Signalgate”).
When a former Chief Executive packs secrets on his plane,
He may store in his spare bathroom those he wants to read again.
But nongovernment mail servers mean opponents should do time.
For the email of his female ex-opponent is a crime.
When officials work out bombings for their sitting autocrat,
They will often use commercial tools to host their secret chat.
If the wrong person’s invited, well that happens all the time.
But the email of his female ex-opponent is a crime.
Sources may face death by torture if their cover’s ever blown.
Bosses traveling to Moscow should be careful with their phone.
Operational security can’t really be that clean
When an editor-in-chief is that strange number on your screen.
His cabinet is bursting with the things they must not say
On their unsecured devices, but they do it anyway.
Whether war plans or attack plans or some partial battle plans,
They had times and types of weapons so I’ll use whichever scans.
Sure, the government spent millions on safe places to confer
And on overseas connections for those travelers that were.
These are really inconvenient when you’re busy; after all,
They don’t even take emoji and they’re halfway down the hall.