Parody of “The Black Unicorn”, words and music by
and other parodies, see
Reprinted from Songworm 2
This parody was sung by Heather Alexander on Tapeworm 1
Parody lyrics ©1988-05-24 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Parody of “The Black Unicorn”, words and music by Heather Alexander
For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
I am he you stick on your window-pane.
I am he that haunts your days.
I am he that maidens once sought in vain.
Long dead, and now the latest craze.
When you get letters from your friends,
Each page of them I will adorn.
My reign of cuteness never ends:
I am the white unicorn.
My horn of silvery tinsel is honed.
My shoulders bear butterfly wings.
I am the teddy bear you never owned.
I am the song the Smurfs all sing.
One look into my big brown eyes,
No deeper than a children’s poem.
Adults are so quick to hypnotize:
You’ll buy me and you’ll take me home.
My coat is white as the purest snow.
My face is too cute to hide.
Prison me not in that box with a bow;
I’m scared it may be dark inside.
Oh, what a cruel blow you have dealt:
You gave me to a child of three.
Her heart’s too pure and will not melt,
And she is as cute as me!
I am he that’s stuck to a candy cane,
Off-white, and with a bright blue patch.
I am he, with chocolate smeared through my mane.
By gosh, I think I’ve met my match.
How could you leave me in her care,
Mistreated and forlorn?
Her grubby hands clenched in my hair:
One shabby white unicorn.