Weight-Loss Centers from Hell


Reprinted from Songworm 3

Parody of “March of Cambreadth”, words and music by Heather Alexander

For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©4/28/91 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

Am
Pierc
ing ring of G
falli
ng Am
weights
,
Am
Clack 
of G
forks 
on F
meag
er Am
plates
.
Am
Sag
ging flesh and G
doub
le Am
chin
,
Am
Starve 
those G
fat
sos F
til 
they re Am
thin
!
Am
Though 
they beg on G
bend
ed knees,
Am
Feed 
them G
on
ly F
cot
tage Am
cheese
.
Am
They 
want seconds; G
we 
deny it.
Am
How 
many of G
them 
can F
we 
make Am
diet
?

Am
We 
know just what s G
in 
their Am
hearts
:
Am
Choc
olate-cG
ust
ard-F
jell
Am
tarts
.
Am
In 
their daydreams, G
each 
one Am
sees
Am
Com
bo G
piz
zas F
choked 
with Am
cheese
.
Am
Feed 
them food that G
tastes 
like chalk;
Am
Watch 
the G
ex
its F
like 
Am
hawk
.
Am
Sneak 
a snack?  Just G
let 
them try it!
Am
How 
many of G
them 
can F
we 
make Am
diet
?

Am
Fol
low menus G
as 
you re Am
told
Am
If 
you G
plan 
on F
grow
ing Am
old
.
Am
Close 
your mind to G
hung
er Am
pangs
.
Am
Think 
of G
how 
your F
bell
Am
hangs
!
Am
Here s 
a tempting G
rec
ipe:
Am
Ok
ra G
sal
ad, F
oil
-Am
free
.
Am
Steam 
it lightly; G
don t 
deep-fry it!
Am
How 
many of G
them 
can F
we 
make Am
diet
?

Am
Pro
tein paste on G
fi
ber Am
bread
:
Am
Di
et G
til 
you re F
thin 
or Am
dead
.
Am
Mid
night snack of G
blood
-red Am
meat
?
Am
Just 
for G
that 
we ll F
make 
you Am
eat
Am
Sau
sage made from G
tur
key bone,
Am
Lunch
-meats G
from 
the F
Twi
light Am
Zone
,
Am
Cas
seroles you eye in G
vague 
disquiet.
Am
How 
many of G
them 
can F
we 
make Am
diet
?

Am
We 
won t give an G
inch 
of Am
ground
:
Am
Not 
when G
we re 
paid F
by 
the Am
pound
.
Am
Make 
sure every G
one 
reAm
news
:
Am
They ve 
got G
more 
than F
fat 
to Am
lose
!
Am
Charge 
them  til they re G
all 
dirt-poor.
Am
They 
won t G
gain 
weight F
an
yAm
more!
Am
Can t 
eat food if G
they 
can t buy it!
Am
How 
many of G
them 
can F
we 
make Am
diet
?