Parody of “Joan”, words and music by
Heather Dale
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Parody lyrics ©2022-04-02 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
I am as God grew me, not gene engineered
Like a certain trash panda, from rumors I hear.
I go where he tells me, no matter the stakes.
We’re bagging our bounty whatever it takes.
I’m that crash
in the forest you fear!
| Chorus: |
And I speak with one pronoun, one name and one verb! They will know what I mean by the tone of my words! And I will get my man and my loot! They’ll know me as Groot. They’ll know me as Groot. |
I wander the planets wherever I’m sent
The strength of Chewbacca, the height of an Ent.
I fight without consequence: When I don’t win
I can beat you to death with my own severed limb.
I’ve a treehouse,
and this pays the rent.
| Chorus: |
And I speak with one pronoun, one name and one verb They will know what I mean by the tone of my words I am loyal, upright and astute. They’ll know me as Groot. They’ll know me as Groot. |
At this point in the original there’s some singing in a very high key. If you imagine that voices are singing overtones that sound like “I am Groot” here in a really high key, and that this song is being sung on Capo 119, then an open tuning would be what Groot sounds like.
I’d shelter my comrades and die myself first.
I can grow from a cutting if worse comes to worst.
When given instructions, I’m just a tad slow:
Describe your remote and I’ll bring you a toe.
He’d regrow it!
If roles were reversed.
| Chorus: |
And I speak with one pronoun, one name and one verb They will know what I mean by the tone of my words It’s not my fault they sleep without boots. They’ll know me as Groot. |
And I speak with one pronoun, one name and one verb
They will know what I mean by the tone of my words
I’m a menace, but terribly cute
They’ll know me as Groot.
They’ll know me as Groot.