Self Glaze

Reprinted from Songworm 2

Parody of “Elf Glade”, words and music by Meg Davis

For more information and other parodies, see
Parody lyrics ©1989-10-21 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

About “Shimmer”, a Saturday Night Live fake commercial.

“Cool whipped cream.” (“No, it’s floor wax.”) 
“I should know; I’ve had three helpings:
One atop my pumpkin pie,
And on my cake, and on my sundae.”

“Cool whipped cream.” (“No, it’s floor wax.”) 
“Cool whipped cream:  you ought to try it,
For the store I go to buy it
Keeps it with the frozen foods.”

Chorus: Ice and and textured plastic.
Fluffy as your new upholstery.
So complete and so convenient!
Goes down smooth without congealing.
Never leaves a waxy feeling.
Goes down smooth without congealing.
Never leaves a waxy feel!

“Cool whipped cream.” (“No, it’s floor wax.”) 
I’ve got some on my hot chocolate.”
(“Make you sick.”) “Don’t me laugh!
For what is there that won’t cause cancer?”

“Try some now.”  (“How disgusting!”)
“Cool and creamy on the palate!”
(“Can’‘t you see what this is for?
Is your pallet on the floor?”)

“Try some now.”  (“How disgusting!”)
“Move your feet so can spread this
Underneath the table legs
And in the nooks and in the crannies.”

Cool whipped cream, and a floor wax!
Both in one, would believe it?
Now we them one bottle:
Lower fat and easy mopping.
Liquid wax and and creamy topping!