The Relentless Tide Of Yule

Parody of “Rocking Around The Christmas Tree”, words and music by Phillips and Ravenscroft

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Parody lyrics ©2009-12-24 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

I was diligent in 2009 about getting out my Christmas-canceling headphones and iPod as quickly as I could whenever I walked into restaurants and such for the past five weeks.  As a result, I only heard "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree" ten or twenty times this month, and the two songs it quotes once or twice.  But that was enough to inspire the following parody.

Walking around Christmas trees
In the Christian part of town.
Everyone shopping frantically
So they’re hard to be around.

Dodging around Christmas gifts
As the Christmas music plays
In every damn place you can’t avoid,
’Round the clock for thirty days. 

Chorus: You will get assimilated —
Willingly or not.
If someone tries to stuff your stocking,
Deck the guy and keep on walking.

Fighting against Christmas crowds:
The relentless tide of Yule.
Everyone singing all those hymns
That we learned in public school.


Bracing against Christmas songs
That the Christians hold so dear.
Every song played twelve hundred times
Just in case you didn’t hear.