Parody of “Do You Know the Way to San José?”, words by
Hal David
, music by
Burt Bacharach
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and other parodies, see
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Parody lyrics ©1991-04-29 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Do you know the way to San Jose?
I left so long ago, I may not know the place today.
Who would want to live in San Jose?
I’m going there to work: much nicer perks and higher pay.
Little towns are fresh and friendly,
Fertile grounds where lifelong friendship grows.
But they’re not where the venture capital goes...
Ground turns into mud, a messy sight.
Until it’s dried, don’t stay out late:
They roll the sidewalks up at night.
Everything is paved in San Jose.
All of that open space is just a place to park today.
I can make big bucks in San Jose.
Five or six hundred thou’ may buy a house where I can stay.
Berkeley is so damn granola.
Give your car away and ride a bike.
Rent a house in the hills with people you like.
Friends turn into flakes and move away.
And there you are, with all that rent,
You buy a car and drive away.
They’ve got lots of cars in San Jose.
Who needs a bike to ride? The streets get wider every day.
You can barely breathe in San Jose.
That’s why I need a car: I can’t live far enough away.
San Francisco’s such a patchwork.
Ethnic groups and weirdos everywhere.
Sticking out like a sore thumb into the air.
Hills turn into dust on shakey ground,
Who gives a hoot if buildings fall?
It stirs the fruits and nuts around.
Things are nice and flat in San Jose...
Do you know the way to San Jose?...
They’ve got lots of cars in San Jose...