How Butch

Reprinted from Songworm 2

Parody of “How Bold”, words and music by Holly Near

For more information and other parodies, see
Parody lyrics ©1988-03-23 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

How butch!  You’re twelve months old, and already you wear sandals.
How butch!  Kick them off for climbing a tree.
How butch!  You look so cute in your little leather diaper.
How butch!  And your powder’s perfume-free.
How butch!  You’ve learned to crawl, and already you’re doing push-ups.
How butch!  Chase the birds right out of your tree!
How butch!  You’ve learned to walk, and already you’re out there marching.
How butch!   Set the whales and women free!

(Next-door neighbors
Seem to know
When a tomboy won’t grow into
A lady.)

How butch!  You’re only two, and you’re ready for your first haircut.
How butch!  Growing strong like a well-fed tree.
How butch!  You look so cute with your big pink plastic labrys.
How butch!  She and me and baby makes three.

(Day-care centers
Seem to know
When a tomboy won’t grow into
A lady.)

How butch!  Your front teeth just came in, and already you eat zucchini.
How butch!  Baking bread by the time you’re three.
How butch!  You’ve learned to write, and already you’re making leaflets.
How butch!  In one wild crayon spree.

(First-grade teachers
Seem to know
When a tomboy won’t grow into
A lady.)