Parody of “Greenmantle”, words and music by
Leigh Ann Hussey
and other parodies, see
Reprinted from Songworm 2
Parody lyrics ©1990-02-23 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Parody of “Greenmantle”, words and music by Leigh Ann Hussey
For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
At the table, scowling at the veggies:
Yucky things like peas, like corn, like beans!
In the distance, jolly laughter echoes.
Do you pause to wonder what it means?
You are drawn to take a second helping,
By your stomach, of its own accord.
Is this produce from the Nation’s heartland
Or the valley of the veggie lord?
Green Giant! I see you, laughing in ecstasy!
Green Giant! Stay with me! I’ll taste your broccoli!
I am the planted and consumed.
I am the seed within the sod.
I am the spicy and the sweet.
I am the pea without the pod.
Who else stands there, wearing leafy clothing,
On his feet, his loins, his chest, his brow?
He comes with everything but antlers.
Closest thing to grain lord we have now.
Winter finds you eating of his substance,
By your hunger, of its own accord.
Reap the fruit of harvests long ago;
Taste the bounty of the veggie lord!
Green Giant! I need you! Lend me your energy!
Green Giant! Come to me! I’ll eat your greenery!
I am the corn without the cob.
I am the first course of the night.
I am the tender, juicy seed.
I am the heavy and the light.
Harvest produce, set aside in cans
Made in modern times in modern ways...
Storing food when winter is approaching
Harkens back to crafts of elder days.
When the fresh food’s going out of season,
And the canned food’s all you can afford,
Is it merely modern economics
Or the wisdom of the veggie lord?
Green Giant! I’ll find you! Where is your cannery?
Green Giant! I practice modern frugality!
I am the lord of hidden vales.
I am the start of hearty meals.
I am the hand behind the plough.
I am the can that stores and seals.
He is old as the oldest grocer.
He was there before you learned to chew.
He’s a giant of towering stature.
He is hidden amid the mountain dew.
All his subtle seasonings will tempt you,
And your taste buds, of their own accord.
But the one not marked on any label
Is the blessing of the veggie lord!
I am the complex carbohydrates.
I am the seasoned and the pure.
I am the simplest of pleasures.
I am the can that will endure.
Green Giant! We’ll feast here, if you will come to me.
Green Giant! Why aren’t you lost in antiquity?
Certain ancient, archetypal forces
Feed upon the folks’ collective will.
But the ones that constantly resurface
Are the ones too powerful to kill.
Foods you buy no matter what the price is,
By your instincts, of their own accord:
Are their labels marketing devices
Or the image of the veggie lord?
I am the swallowed and left over.
I am the sundered and the whole.
I am the one who fills the need.
I am the stuff of casseroles.
Green Giant! I call you! By root and vine and tree!
Green Giant! We need you! Modern mythology!
Green Giant! I call you! By bean and corn and pea!
Green Giant! Who are you? Who pays your celery?