Parody of “The Two of Us”, words and music by
Heather Rose Jones
and other parodies, see
Parody lyrics ©1992-06-23 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Parody of “The Two of Us”, words and music by Heather Rose Jones
For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
It’s been just the two of us
for too long to recall or even try.
Nothing much to do while I’m you but languish,
balled up near the fire’s heat.
And the meat, or what must pass for it,
is too dry, cold, and boring for my taste .
I’ve sometimes stalked the grass to find us food,
but you let your half go to waste.
I can’t quite remember now
just what I am or who my mother was.
You bear no resemblance to me but
perhaps you grew from a more fuzzy youth?.
No, the truth is those born with me
were enslaved, cast out, or murdered long ago.
While I, the fourth- or fifth-born, have been saved —
for what dark purpose I don’t know.
Pity ’bout the furniture,
when I forgot the sharpness of my claws.
I thought you had inferred what’s on my mind
and bought the carpeting because of me.
Don’t you see that the temptation of the texture
is enough to give one paws?
The ultimate sensation I like next
to cotton stuffing, lace, and gauze.