Parody of “Fever Dreams”, words and music by
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Parody lyrics ©1992-09-28 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Parody of “Fever Dreams”, words and music by Cynthia McQuillin
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A cross between two songs by Cindy McQuillin: Fever Dreams and Dark Desires
When I first met you, Dracula, I was in desperate straits,
Prepared to stick my neck out; but you would not take the bait.
I heard the village rumors, that you’re not of natural kind.
Turns out that’s true in more ways than I realized at the time.
I threw out my cross. Kept my bedroom dark.
I even bought some turtlenecks that would hide the mark.
My dark desire would not relent.
But I never knew that vampires
Are a little bent.
I’m into mutilation, with fear and blood and pain.
I figured you could not turn down a willing female vein.
But it seems you’re homosexual: not just a count, a queen.
Now, sucking blood is one thing, but that’s downright obscene!
You choose your victims carefully, for the hormones they contain.
Young men with bulging muscles, as well as bulging veins.
You drink their blood’s testosterone, just as you drink their blood.
Without that you’d lose muscle tone and talk like Elmer Fudd.
What could I do but kill you then, for your sake and for mine.
Van Helsing and men like him kill your kind all the time.
If Dracula won’t lie with me, in a real grave he’ll be lain,
For all those nights I waited, alone in bed in vain.