Parody of “Dane-Geld”, words by
, music by
and other parodies, see
Reprinted from Songworm 3
This parody was sung by Leslie Fish on Tapeworm 2
Parody lyrics ©1989-06-07 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Parody of “Dane-Geld”, words by Rudyard Kipling , music by Leslie Fish
For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
|ays quite foolhardy for a||C|
|and ill-trained party|
|ther at a tavern and to||E|
|it with our||F|
|and kill some||E|
|a ton of||G|
|is called bashing the||G|
|ple who long to at||E|
|they have bashed on the||G|
It is equally foolhardy for that armed and eager party
To win one lucky battle and feel sure,
We have polished off a goblin,
But he left our fighter hobblin’.
Perhaps this magic potion is the cure.
And that can make bashing the balrog
Too much for the cleric and elf,
Who find, when they’re facing the balrog,
That their fighter is not quite himself.
It is even more foolhardy for the changed and weakened party
To stare back at the balrog and to say
We can zap and we can bite you.
We are quite prepared to fight you.
We suggest you turn around and fly away.
And that’s called insulting the balrog,
For balrogs aren’t easy to bluff.
They know, with a competent balrog,
No army is half strong enough.
And it’s just a bit too tardy when a member of the party
Succeeds at his IQ roll and exclaims
Try a Light spell or Entangle
While I get a better angle,
For I think I know a way to douse his flames.
And that is called fleeing the balrog,
And those who are wiser agree:
While comrades are bashing the balrog,
It’s safest to go climb a tree.
It is almost as foolhardy for the others in the party
To bravely join the fray with spell and sword.
It has no chance of destroying.
At the worst you’ll be annoying,
And at best you’ll keep the foe from being bored.
And that is called bashing the balrog.
But should any witness survive,
He’ll see, once you’ve bashed on the balrog,
The balrog will skin you alive.
So no matter just how hardy be the fools within your party,
And no matter just how lucrative your aim,
If it ever is suggested
You can get by unmolested,
You should rise and pound the table and exclaim,
We never can win against balrogs,
However the dice might be tossed.
For the rules of this game are obscure and arcane,
And the party that plays it is lost!